I wanna passion pit in your ass
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
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