oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
