she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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