Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
