Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
