im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
