so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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