I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
