So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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