She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
