I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize