i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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