Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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