It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Come share oat with me in your robe
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