do herpes really smell.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize