Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
