if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
