yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
