AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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