saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I love having hate sex.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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