some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
