you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
