In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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