found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
