why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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