I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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