Whod you bang
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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