yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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