I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
so much tequila, so little girl.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
