Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
