The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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