Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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