all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
