I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
