she looked like the bat from fern gully.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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