youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
