then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize