I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
