And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
