new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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