I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
