I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
