My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
