should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
