My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
