you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
