ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
