3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
