is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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