I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The Olympian is in my bed
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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