You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
