You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
