Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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