You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
