When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I think people are normalizing furries
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize