I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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