were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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