Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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