we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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