You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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