dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
