Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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