according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
