People in love make me want to vomit
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The power of my boobs compel you
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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