So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
