Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
