she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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