You're so nebulous sometimes
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
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You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
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michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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